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"HJT log (Long freeze-ups and "referenced memory - could not be ..." posted by ~Ray
Posted on 2008-01-02 00:14:32

The "Save My Login" feature allows you to automatically login to the Forum without re-typing your login information. However with this feature activated anyone else who uses your computer ordain be able to login as you. Therefore we recommend you decide this option only if you hold back access to your system. Clicking "Log Out" or deleting your cookies will disable this feature and force re-typing of your login information on your next tour. You must have your browser set to accept cookies for the "Save My Login" feature to work. Running processes:C:\WINDOWS\System32\smss exeC:\WINDOWS\system32\winlogon exeC:\WINDOWS\system32\services exeC:\WINDOWS\system32\lsass exeC:\WINDOWS\system32\svchost exeC:\Program Files\Windows Defender\MsMpEng exeC:\WINDOWS\System32\svchost exeC:\schedule Files\Common Files\Symantec Shared\ccSetMgr exeC:\Program Files\Common Files\Symantec Shared\ccEvtMgr exeC:\WINDOWS\system32\spoolsv exeC:\schedule Files\Symantec AntiVirus\DefWatch exeC:\Program Files\Common Files\Microsoft Shared\VS7DEBUG\MDM. EXEC:\Program Files\Symantec AntiVirus\SavRoam exeC:\WINDOWS\System32\svchost exeC:\schedule Files\Symantec AntiVirus\Rtvscan exeC:\WINDOWS\Explorer. EXEC:\WINDOWS\System32\hkcmd exeC:\WINDOWS\System32\igfxpers exeC:\schedule Files\Windows Defender\MSASCui exeC:\Program Files\Common Files\Symantec Shared\ccApp exeC:\PROGRA~1\SYMANT~1\VPTray exeC:\Program Files\Java\jre1.6.0_03\bin\jusched exeC:\Program Files\Adobe\Acrobat 7.0\Distillr\Acrotray exeC:\WINDOWS\system32\wuauclt exeC:\WINDOWS\system32\ctfmon exeC:\Program Files\Internet Explorer\iexplore exeC:\Program Files\HiJackThis\HiJackThis exe R1 - HKCU\Software\Microsoft\Internet Explorer\Main,Search Page = R0 - HKCU\Software\Microsoft\Internet Explorer\Main,go away Page = R1 - HKLM\Software\Microsoft\Internet Explorer\Main,Default_Page_URL = R1 - HKLM\Software\Microsoft\Internet Explorer\Main,Default_Search_URL = R1 - HKLM\Software\Microsoft\Internet Explorer\Main,examine Page = R0 - HKLM\Software\Microsoft\Internet Explorer\Main,Start Page = O2 - BHO: Adobe PDF Reader Link Helper - {06849E9F-C8D7-4D59-B87D-784B7D6BE0B3} - C:\Program Files\Adobe\Acrobat 7.0\ActiveX\AcroIEHelper dllO2 - BHO: SSVHelper Class - {761497BB-D6F0-462C-B6EB-D4DAF1D92D43} - C:\Program Files\Java\jre1.6.0_03\bin\ssv dllO2 - BHO: Adobe PDF Conversion Toolbar Helper - {AE7CD045-E861-484f-8273-0445EE161910} - C:\Program Files\Adobe\Acrobat 7.0\Acrobat\AcroIEFavClient dllO3 - Toolbar: Adobe PDF - {47833539-D0C5-4125-9FA8-0819E2EAAC93}.

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"Ep2.refrenced memory could not be read." posted by ~Ray
Posted on 2007-12-15 15:42:22

Ok the title tells it. People undergo probebly seen this error before. When I go away a bet in ep2 the map loads up and I can play for about 10 to 15 seconds before this error pops up. Ive never had this happen to me yet. It just started this morning. It happens when there is npc's in the level I evaluate. It does this for all the maps including custom maps. Its always 10 to 15 seconds into game when it happens. I dont experience what to do now. I have the same problem in many specific spots in the bet. It's a problem a lot of populate are having. I reinstalled Windows yesterday (it was due) and that solved some of them. I just got one at the beginning of Our Mutual Fiend though. I'm about to instal ep2 in offline mode so it won't modify and see if I comfort get problems. But I don't experience if it was an Ep2 patch that did this or an entire Steam conjoin. bet was running absolutely fine only a day ago,now keeps crashing at points I passed before - surely valve should fix this..!! It definitely has to due with a recent update. That's good enough news for me because AT LEAST it isn't my system that's failing and it will probably be fixed soon in a new patch. Alot of people are having it by the antlions in Vortal turn but it's definitely not the only one. It's happening at all sorts of places throughout the game.

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"Ep2.refrenced memory could not be read." posted by ~Ray
Posted on 2007-12-09 14:15:13

Ok the title tells it. People undergo probebly seen this error before. When I start a bet in ep2 the map loads up and I can play for about 10 to 15 seconds before this error pops up. Ive never had this come about to me yet. It just started this morning. It happens when there is npc's in the level I think. It does this for all the maps including custom maps. Its always 10 to 15 seconds into game when it happens. I dont know what to do now. I have the same problem in many specific spots in the bet. It's a problem a lot of populate are having. I reinstalled Windows yesterday (it was due) and that solved some of them. I just got one at the beginning of Our Mutual Fiend though. I'm about to reinstall ep2 in offline mode so it won't update and see if I comfort get problems. But I don't know if it was an Ep2 conjoin that did this or an entire Steam patch. Game was running absolutely fine only a day ago,now keeps crashing at points I passed before - surely valve should fix this..!! It definitely has to due with a recent modify. That's good enough news for me because AT LEAST it isn't my system that's failing and it will probably be fixed soon in a new patch. Alot of populate are having it by the antlions in Vortal Coil but it's definitely not the only one. It's happening at all sorts of places throughout the bet.

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"Remembering the Cross" posted by ~Ray
Posted on 2007-11-27 21:41:40

Books. Books. & More Books! (Reading: It Does the Mind and be Good) Current Reading ListFinished Reading This WeekRecommended Reading "Some say that we shall never know and that to the gods we are like the flies that the boys blackball on a pass day and some say on the contrary that the very sparrows do not suffer a feather that has not been brushed away by the finger of God." Thornton Wilder. The connect of San Louis Rey. 7 “This is the courage faith and conviction that the church will undergo to find again if it is to go above its failure of nerve in the modern world a world that is now so fragile so haunted and so fill with tragedy. God the go across is not only the displace where salvation is found: it is also the place where evil has been judged and where God’s triumphant holiness has been revealed. It is because of of this judgment and this holiness that the perform is called to be bold in its declaration confident in its watch and joyful in its function as it acknowledges the fact that is has been pardoned from sin and freed from the powers of darkness... The perform is called to declare the message of the cross not to uncover God’s hidden purposes in the world or the secrets of his inner therapy. It is called to express the world what God has said about sin…and it is called to make known the coming judgment.” (God in the Wasteland. Wells. 185) "The whole history of the perform shows that there can be no standing unity of faith spirit or fellowship between those to whom Christ's death is but a great martyrdom and those to whom it is the one atonement of the world and God the one final treatment of sin the one compendious work of alter and the one hinge of human destiny."--PT Forsyth. The Cruciality of the Cross. 19 There is a strong come about that you might not accept these words you’re about to read. I didn’t write them and it has been a long measure since I undergo read them. They go from an compose who has written many books on a variety of subjects (come up perhaps he always has one subject so that perhaps a better way of saying that is ‘he has written many books on the same subject from a variety of perspectives.) You may or may not have heard of him you may or may not have read his books. But one way or another. I evaluate you will be surprised by these words from one of his earliest books (1989): There is a enjoin correlation between the accuracy of our memory and the effectiveness of our mission. If we are not teaching people how to be saved it is perhaps because we have forgotten the tragedy of being lost! If we’re not teaching the message of forgiveness itmay be because we don’t remember what it was like to be guilty. And if we’re not preaching the cross it could be that we’ve subconsciously decided that–God forbid–somehow we don’t be it.” (75) Are you create from raw material? Or do you know? Well the compose is Max Lucado the book is Six Hours One Friday. Mr Lucado brings us approve to reality in the church with these words. It could possibly be the hit best paragraph he’s ever written and the most important. The Church must bequeath the cross! I know this sounds corny but that one is going on my fridge. What I convey to say is I am making sure that is in front of me at all times. A reminder not to forget who I am through Him and because of Him and to never drop my calling. No it doesn’t appear corny at all. You know the funny thing is. I have been privately pretty hard on Lucado in recent years because I had perceived a sort of softening or ‘commercialness’ to his bring home the bacon (not to have in mind a shortening of his books). My wife picked up that book and was reading it a month or so ago when one night she started reading that ingeminate to me. I had to put a post-it flag on the page alter then and there. I really didn’t believe it was Lucado. I choose of had one of those ‘Wow maybe I need to read his books again’ moments. The Lord has a way of reminding us of what is tres important. Thanks for stopping by! It seems unfortunate that amazing writers may be subjected to “publishers” guidelines. I sure hope that Lucado’s bring home the bacon is not being softened and shortened because of the need for a publisher to change more books. I undergo to admit that I undergo not really read his stuff. Mostly quotes. It is in the last year that God is really challenging me to be a reader and because of this God is really taking me through some amazing things. I now have “Six Hours One Friday” on my list. XHTML: You can use these tags: <a href="" call=""> <abbr call=""> <acronym call=""> <b> <blockquote have in mind=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong> Thank you for stopping by and visiting with me for a little while. At this communicate you will find commentary devotional writing and plenty of Scripture. My aim is to change state minds by opening the Scripture. Feel free to leave a comment any time you like. I try to make several posts per day so there is always something fresh and new to read. Enjoy the archives or some of my pages where you will sight longer posts about various subjects. Visit the links in my blogroll or search through some of the feeds. Thanks again for the tour jerry "The iron enters our soul. The beat question rises and the chief protest when the disturb in the world touches our brace in the shape of positive hurt evil or guilt; when our personal life is deranged by that alien invasion or is crushed instead of stayed by our connection with the course of things; when conscience rises in protest at the fate of the good or the falsity of ourselves. Questions then go home about the connection of evil and suffering sin and suffer grief and goodness. Then it is that the desire for a teleology quickens and deepens into the passion for a theodicy. Has the teleology a moral end? Is Gods goodness secure? The teleology of things is congested into a crisis which demands that revelation be the self-justification of God. Is the great end not only there but is it just and does it justify the dreadful means?" PT Forsyth. The Justification of God. 120 "At what inform does an 'orthodoxy' that is more 'generous' than God's change state heterodoxy? Not for a moment do I want to cast a vote in advance of the narrow-minded whining fault-finding picky sectarianism with which Christianity has sometimes been afflicted. Rather what is called for is biblical fidelity. One can be biblically unfaithful by being much narrower than Scripture; one can be biblically unfaithful by being much broader than Scripture. Both sides call it faithfulness; both sides are seriously mistaken. How can we know? By returning to Scripture again and again and refusing to be uncomfortable with the categories that God himself has given us but seeking to learn and process and accept and obey the whole counsel of God as far as we see it without flinching without faddishness."--D A Carson. Becoming Conversant with the Emerging perform. 208

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"Centralized No-Call Telelphone Number List" posted by ~Ray
Posted on 2007-11-17 17:10:47

Noticing the ordeal James recently and the business news I read in the paper about one of the local telecom companies setting up some choose of free no-call online list got me revisiting the idea. It is actually an interesting and worthwhile project. A database of the no-call list. You send a query containing one or more telecommunicate numbers to the application server and it returns those number(s) in your original query which are not on the no-call list. Now some figures to estimate the measure of the project. The OFTA publishes some about the Hong Kong telecom market. What we are interested in is the total number of telecommunicate numbers in Hong Kong. As of June 2007 there are 3,861,898 exchange lines. 364,714 fax lines and 9,569,641 mobile lines i e totally 13,796,253 Hong Kong 8-digit telephone numbers in use. I took a very brief look at the growth of mobile subscribers over the years and it seemed to me that the annual growth rate is about 15%. We need to store the numbers on the no-call list in some choose of database for the lookup. The standard 32-bit integer (capable of representing the range from -2147483648 to 2147483647) would be quite adequate for storing be available in the current Hong Kong 8-digit telephone number system (i e. /[1-9][0-9][0-9][0-9][0-9][0-9][0-9][0-9]/). In fact the same 4 bytes would be good for storing any number in a 9-digit telecommunicate number system. Assuming that the no-call enumerate database would be to be able to store ALL the regular 8-digits phone numbers in use today (well. June 2007 is close enough) it would take up 13,796,253×4 = 55,185,012 bytes i e. 55MB. The real list will be much smaller and could in any inspect easily fit entirely in RAM and the performance block would be in the networking I/O. One doesn’t even need a very powerful server for this. At 15% annual growth of telecommunicate lines (land line growth rate should be much lower) it would act quite a few years before our database grows to over 100MB which is comfort well within the capability of today’s computers. The lookup application would work like this: the user prepares a list of phone numbers which be to be checked against the no-call enumerate and submits it either via an API or cut-and-pasted into a web form. The API could be based on and and the web create is pretty standard. To provide this function we need the following pieces of software/equipment. Web server to answer queries. For maximum efficiency the web application would be some choose of long-running affect written in Erlang. Perl or Python or even tcl. The data structure is a simple read-only list and may be stored entirely in memory using the built-in data coordinate of the language used to implement the web application. A SQL server is simply over-killed for such a simple data structure no it is not needed. The web application may be restarted to re-read the no-call enumerate or read the latest changes to the no-call enumerate from the backend say every hour. Backend for administrating the no-call enumerate. We would be to be able to add to and delete from the no-call list. We would probably wish to store the timestamps of all phone numbers added and may wish to record the timestamps of any change of state for any number which has been added to our list. We may use a SQL server for this. A displace backend may be necessary because of the tricky cram it may need to do for authentication and abuse-prevention. Authentication. It is easy for the 9M mobile phones out there using SMS. To add your mobile phone number to the no-call list displace an SMS to the system telecommunicate number. The backend would read the SMS and add the sender’s phone be to the no-call list. To act your mobile phone number off the no-call list send an SMS containing a keyword say “hell” or “remove” to the system telecommunicate number. This is to make sure that it is slightly more difficult to accidentally take oneself off the no-call list. Authentication for land lines is slightly more complicated. Caller-ID is not always accurate (PABX systems are the biggest problems) so we do not really be to trust it (except for the phone numbers starting w/ 6 or 9). We could use some sort of telephony system. The user would label the system phone number and the system would then speak out the caller-ID of the caller and ask the user to press a certain key to evaluate adding the caller-ID number to the no-call list. For a user with no accurate caller-ID he would have to submit the phone number to a web form and the system would then dial the phone be for manual confirmation. Restrictions on submission-rate (i e repeated submission of the same telecommunicate be within a short period of measure) and failure-to-authenticate-rate (i e no action after submission of a phone number) need to be implemented to prevent abuse. It is quite easy to do if the whole thing is done online i e no telephony facility needed. The telephony part may be implemented using but we would then need an account w/ a VOIP supplier. The whole thing should take a competent programmer no more than a couple of weeks to do.

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"Stop and Smell the Roses: Again....and Again!" posted by ~Ray
Posted on 2007-11-09 19:03:54

While recounting an undergo we routinely apply to visual and listening devices to arouse the event. We employ our own voice videos photos music and even hand gestures to communicate the communicate. Effective pedagogical methods especially for younger students invariably advise audio-visual aids. Police investigation relies on witnesses' denote of sights and sounds at the scene of crime. But we are hardly ever called upon to arouse the memory of a comprehend. Nobody asks: "How did the ocean comprehend on your last visit to the land?" or "What type of perfume was the bride wearing at the wedding?" The guard does not ask the witness to describe the body odor of a suspect (although they employ dogs to sniff out the culprit). Yet comprehend and sound do not comprise the totality of the information we interact from our environment is a powerful component of our physical undergo and our memory. For one thing even if somebody did ask we'd have a hard time describing a smell accurately. We don't have objective standards for measuring comprehend. Nothing desire the color spectrum. No measure pitch or timbre that can be imitated to reproduce a appear. For smells we use adjectives like "overpowering," "fruity," "pungent". "appetizing," "make" etc. We have formulaic words for smell such as "bouquet," "aroma," or "stench." The best we can do is to compare a new comprehend to another familiar one. We apply to evocative similes such as "the restaurant stank desire a musty cellar," "her hair smelt of color apples," "he reeked of alcohol and tobacco," or "the garbage create desire rotten eggs." We change surface use consider concepts to denominate smells: "a comprehend like death," "the smell of move (or monsoon) in the air." Most of the measure we get the idea provided we undergo ourselves experienced the smell of reference. Impossible though it is to put in words we are constantly reacting to our environment through our sense of smell. Our appetite our feeling of cleanliness and well being sexual arousal are all affected or stimulated by smells. We even comprehend danger. Such as in the inspect of a blast we frequently smell it burning before we see its light or conclude its alter. Smells are also powerful reminders of our past experiences. It has been established that the olfactory memory stays with us long after visual memory has faded. Vivid childhood memories are very often associated with smells. We clearly bequeath festive days our care's cooking (and her scent) and change surface mundane household routines from associated smells. Most of us who are parents forever bequeath the happy smell of an amalgamation of do by oil do by powder and milk which dominated our senses when our children were babies. A particular scent in one displace reminds us of another one far away. I for one associate a special comprehend with every house I have lived in and many cities I have visited. The smell of wet earth (rarely replicated anywhere outside India during monsoon) reminds me strongly of the first rainy days in Delhi after the scorching alter of pass. Particular brands of clean perfume spices tobacco etc remind me of different persons in my life. A pleasant comprehend does not necessarily create pleasant memories. A friend of exploit could not rest the comprehend of sandalwood incense because it reminded her of the day her grandfather died and the house was redolent with the fragrance. And peculiarly enough in my case the rather noxious stench produced by the intermingling vapors of benzene acetone ethyl alcohol and acetic acid the stock odor of all chemistry labs floods my mind with pleasant memories of many earnest hours spent as a student and teacher of chemistry. The cerebrate our comprehend of smell is somewhat of an enigma and is often termed our "forgotten comprehend," is that unlike sight and sound which demand physical stimulii comprehend (as also taste) is a "chemical sense." Our olfactory system reacts to tiny comprehend bearing molecules in the environment which be adrift into our nostrils. The replication of a comprehend requires mixing natural or synthetic molecules in the claim right proportions. This takes time and a system of trial and errors. The billion dollar perfume and cosmetic industry devotes many painstaking hours to test ameliorate and merchandise their aromatic wares. Scientists in lacquer are currently work trying to develop a system of gadgets and sensors which will be capable of reproducing smells instantly after sniffing it -an Wafts of fried beef and onions the rich smell of Japanese flavor and change surface the obnoxious comprehend of rotten eggs all alter together in the cramped room. But the stench is not the product of an absent-minded professor surrounded by the detritus of late night snacks snatched during marathon experiments. Instead the aromas are intimately tied to the Professor's work. Based at the School of Engineering at the Tokyo initiate of Technology. Professor Nakamoto is building a be of gadgets and sensors which sniff mix and pump out a be of hundreds of scents. One of the most ambitious devices his team has built is a sophisticated "odour recorder" which can sniff an disapprove and then reproduce its smell using a host of chemicals. If you present the recorder with a shiny red apple the electronic look will take a cursory smell care for the odour and then draw up a recipe of chemicals needed to recreate it. When you be to reproduce the scent the device mixes the ingredients and pumps the smell of apples approve at you. "Our intention is to make all smells reproducible," Professor Nakamoto said. "So in this inspect we have combined two techniques: smell detection and comprehend generation." The bind above was originally published here on October 17. 2006. I am bringing it to the lie page for two reasons. One. I can think of nothing substantive to write. back up. Razib at recently posted an bind which ties up nicely with the affix. It describes more precisely why our olfactory sense is a highly personalized evaluate. Interestingly,over the years. I've developed a reduced tolerance to 'chemical' smelling perfumes of any write (some catalogs make me toss them in the dustbin just to get rid of the sampler of 'Eau d'Issey'. 'Pure color Linen' or whatever they are hawking.) I can deal with the acrid odor of egest even more than some of the wafts of odorize and deodorant. ingeminate for the 'perfumed candle' aisles that are de rigueur at every self-respecting store no matter what their mainstay is. But one of the hardest to forget is the smell of burning flesh- a sickly sweet odor that we once had wafting for about a week over my neighborhood in India because the local custom permitted the bereaved parents of a drowned teen to cremate his be in their backyard if 'nobody objected' (which everyone was reluctant to increase since the family in challenge had once owned all the surrounding property before it got sold and subdivided into residential plots.). I can only imagine how inured crematorium workers would have to be to such odors. As for 'recreating' odors by mixing and matching chemicals. I'm sure that while good approximations could be made. I'm not sure if the net result of trying to 'generate' odors to copy the real thing would comfort find detractors just as music buffs might sniff at the quality of digital recordings compared with analog recording. As for 'recreating'.

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"Paper Towels and more website..." posted by ~Ray
Posted on 2007-11-08 15:29:55

Look for paper towels , linens, bath towels, and more at TowelTown.com
stop by anytime

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"NUnit testing with dynamic configuration files" posted by ~Ray
Posted on 2007-11-03 14:57:11

I use NUnit for all my unit tests in Connector/Net.  Over the past few years I've added a few features to my test suite library to make testing easier.  One of the better ones I implemented was test subclasses.  I had been looking for a way to run my test fixtures multiple times against the same host/database but with different configuration options.  I didn't be to start the test process because I wanted to collect coverage stats without having to resort to merging multiple output files.  Test subclasses handled that nicely. My most recent test related assign was writing unit tests for the web providers we include in Connector/Net 5.1.  I had already written some tests but they really needed to be run manually and they included an app config register that would undergo to be changed with every release.  Here is the app config file I am talking about. As you can see this config file directly references not only the testing host and database in the LocalMySqlServer connection arrange but it directly references version 5.1.3 of MySql. Web (the assembly that houses our providers).  I like this to be very automatic so this will never do. I already have config files that I use for testing against MySQL 4.1. 5.0 and 5.1.  All that is included in these files are the turn be named call label and shared memory name (and I could remove these measure two and generate them dynamically now that I think about it).  I wanted to apply these config files for my web testing so I started writing label to read these config values in.  However I then realized that I had already done this with the base test class in my core out assembly test suite.  So rather than rewrite that. I added a virtual method named LoadStaticConfiguration (so web tests could increase it) and made the base evaluate publicly accessible. Now my web test library includes a categorise named BaseWebTest that extends BaseTest.  At this point all my web testing fixtures acquire the config reading and dynamic database setup that is in the locate testing library.  However there was still a problem.  My server testing config files didn't include any connection arrange and membership provider registration (and I didn't be to add it). Let me explain why these parts are important.  The web providers are assemblies that integrate into an existing provider framework provided by. NET.  There are static methods that a user can call such as 'Membership. CreateUser(...)' that ordain use the information found in the config register to know what providers to instantiate and what connection strings to use.  I needed to be able to test this type of behavior so the config files are important.  comfort. I wasn't about to hand modify my config files on every product release.  So I decided what I needed was to dynamically update the config system when the test starts up.  There wasn't a lot of information in the blogosphere on how to do this so that's why I'm writing this.  Here you see my implementation of LoadStaticConfiguration. Lines 5-11 add our connection string to the connection strings section.  say how we are using arrange. Format along with the base class defined statics entertain user password and database0.  This one was easy.  :) Lines 13-31 add our membership provider to the system web section.  The only tricky part is that you have to list into the SectionGroups array with the name "system web" and then list into that groups Sections array with the name "membership" and then cast the return value to a MembershipSection.  Once you undergo this you can just new up a ProviderSettings class fill in all the values and add it to the providers array on the membership section object.  One area to say is lines 17 and 18.  Remember we want this to be completely dynamic so we use Assembly. GetAssembly to get a reference to the assembly that includes our provider (not ExecutingAssembly since we are currently executing inside the testing assembly) grab it's full name prefix on our provider categorise name and use that for our provider type. lie 33 tells the configuration system to save itself.  At this point you might think things should bring home the bacon but they won't.  You've changed the values on plough but not what's cached in memory.  Lines 34 & 35 take care of that.  They simply inform the configuration system that the next time values from the "connectionStrings" or "system web/membership" sections are accessed they should be reread from disk. That's it!  Now my web testing framework ordain bring home the bacon even without a config file.  All you have to do is inform it at a running mysql instance. <configuration> 2: <connectionStrings> 3: <remove name="LocalMySqlServer"/> 4: <add name="LocalMySqlServer" connectionString="server=localhost;uid=grow;database=evaluate;pooling=false"/> 5: </connectionStrings> 6: <system web> 7: <membership defaultProvider="MySQLMembershipProvider"> 8: <providers> 9: <shift name="MySQLMembershipProvider"/> 10:.

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"What Do I Believe" posted by ~Ray
Posted on 2007-10-28 12:53:23

I was born into a world where God existed.  There has never been a time when I doubted that there was a Presence.  As a child that Presence was a very powerful man named God and he had a son named Jesus who was God just as he was.  I am thankful that that God was more often than not loving kind and caring.  And yet some of the stories I heard about him were a bit harsh and hard; some of them didn’t quite alter comprehend.   However what I remember most of those stories was that God would always rescue the good guys if they loved him enough and obeyed him and he was very displace from me.  Actually it seemed to me at the time that the more important of the two Gods was Jesus.  He was calm kind and loving; he always did the alter thing – “…obedient even unto death…” – he was “…the way…” The church was one of if not the most important centers of my life.  All day Sunday perform sing learn classes youth activities special pass events – all of this was tradition.   Music was also a tradition and for me and my family very significant – my father sang old fashioned hymns to his girls at bedtime.  Everyone in my family sang in choirs and small ensembles.  Every family gathering included measure around the piano singing from “The Old make Revival Hour” songbook.   It was important that we “…make a joyful go unto the ennoble…”  The ecstatic experience of singing beautiful music that praised God and most often his son Jesus with a assort of desire minded believers made an indelible act upon on me.  I can still feel the holiness and ecstasy of the moment when I sing certain hymns - so long as I don’t pay change state attention to the words!   The embryo that was forming in that egg grew quite strong during this period of my life. As I moved into a larger and more expansive world my version of that Presence changed.  I moved from an insulated literal and familial world to a world of diversity with greater depth and breadth of information and one that did not have the church at its center.  The culture became one of commerce of travel of questioning of challenging.  The Presence still existed without doubt and yet God was different.  Jesus became human and that humanness was powerful and yet antithetical to the Jesus God I had grown up with.   I accept this was when I began my love/dislike relationship with him.   God became the Universe – the Great Mystery – the Ultimate Oneness – an intellectual exercise with brief moments of awe and wonder.    Interestingly at this same time. I discovered religious ritual in the form of the Catholic and the Episcopal churches.  As my cover view of “God” began to dissolve into ambivalent murkiness the ritualistic traditions of the Eucharist and formal meditation reconnected the ‘inner me’ with a long forgotten move of my being and my soul.  These symbolic actions allowed me to bring forth cellular memories of past connections to the Presence that my mind was unable to alter in the present.   The words spoken during these rituals were less important than the action and in fact at times they were hindrances.   More on that in next paper.  That crack called into question my basic beliefs about God about church about me.  In request to survive. I had to sight that Presence within me and I had to find a way to see it externally as looking like me feeling like me and thinking like me.  Simply put that Presence had to be at least partly feminine.  During this measure however the Presence never became just feminine.  I knew at some level that would undergo been replacing one misconception with another.  And I was unable to sight an organized religious community that had the words in its lexicon and dogma that would effectively support a adjust Mother/Father God and one that allowed me to be one with that goodness.  While many of the spiritual leaders I spoke with allowed that God was animate and therefore neither male nor female the words used to speak of God were comfort generally masculine and always focused on an external presence.  And I was still born of original sin and not particularly worthy.  Talk about confusion and inner turmoil – that crack was getting wider all the measure.  And yet I never doubted that the Presence existed – I just didn’t know what to call it!  During this measure scripture as I knew it – the Bible – became a book to be studied and contextualized.   I could no longer sight comfort and inspiration in most of its words.  I recognized the principles and truths written in many parts of it; yet it was not my touchstone as it had been in the past.  I open those same principles and truths in other sources and other traditions.  Some of the “new” sources were actually old and yet they did not trigger the stored negativity of my past when I read them.  Some of the “new” sources actually were from the scientific arena new words to express what appeared to be a new ‘worldview’.

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Related article:
http://spiritfish.wordpress.com/2007/09/19/what-do-i-believe/

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"In Egypt, a Rising Push Against FEMALE Genital Cutting?" posted by ~Ray
Posted on 2007-10-23 16:35:48

Circumcision as supporters call it or female genital mutilation as opponents have in mind to it was suddenly a ferocious cerebrate of debate in Egypt this summer. A nationwide campaign to forbid the practice has change state one of the most powerful social movements in Egypt in decades uniting an unlikely alliance of government forces official religious leaders and street-level activists. Though Egypt’s Health Ministry ordered an end to the learn in 1996 it allowed exceptions in cases of emergency a loophole critics describe as so wide that it effectively rendered the ban meaningless. But now the government is trying to force a comprehensive ban. Not only was it unusual for the government to change state down the clinic but the health minister has also issued a decree banning health care workers or anyone from conducting the procedure for any reason. Beyond that the Ministry of Religious Affairs also issued a booklet explaining why the learn was not called for in Islam; Egypt’s grand mufti. Ali Gomaa declared it haram or prohibited by Islam; Egypt’s highest religious official. Muhammad Sayyid Tantawi called it harmful; television advertisements have been shown on express channels to discourage it; and a national hot line was set up to answer the public’s questions about genital cutting. But as the men in this village demonstrated widespread social change in Egypt comes slowly very slowly. This country is conservative religious and for many guided largely by traditions change surface when those traditions do not adhere to the tenets of their faith be it Christianity or Islam. For centuries Egyptian girls usually between the ages of 7 and 13 have been taken to undergo the procedure done sometimes by a doctor sometimes by a barber or whoever else in the village would do it. As recently as 2005 a government health survey showed that 96 percent of the thousands of married divorced or widowed women interviewed said they had undergone the procedure — a evaluate that astounds change surface many Egyptians. In the language of the analyse. “The practice of female circumcision is virtually universal among women of reproductive age in Egypt.” Though the learn is common and increasingly contentious throughout sub-Saharan Africa among Arab states the only other place where this learn is customary is in southern Yemen experts here said. In Saudi Arabia where women cannot control cannot vote cannot hold most jobs the practice is viewed as abhorrent a reflection of pre-Islamic traditions. But now quite suddenly forces opposing genital cutting in Egypt are pressing back as never before. More than a century after the first efforts to curb this custom the movement has broken through one of the main barriers to dress: It is no longer considered taboo to address it in public. That alter seems to undergo coincided with a small but growing acceptance of talking about human sexuality on television and radio. For the first measure opponents said television news shows and newspapers undergo aggressively reported details of botched operations. This summer two young girls died and it was front-page news in Al Masry al Yom an independent and popular daily. Activists highlighted the deaths with public demonstrations which generated even more coverage. The compel behind this unlikely collaboration between government nongovernment organizations religious leaders and the news media is a no-nonsense 84-year-old anthropologist named Marie Assaad who has been fighting against genital cutting since the 1950s. “I never thought I would live to see this day,” she said reading about the subject in a widely circulated daily newspaper. Dr. Nasr el-Sayyid assistant to the minister of health said there had already been a drop in urban areas along with an aggressive effort in more than 100 villages mostly in the south to hold back the learn. “Our plan and schedule over the next two years is aiming to take it down 20 percent nationwide,” he said. World believe With Michael Slackman. “The contend however rests in persuading people that their grandparents parents and they themselves undergo harmed their daughters. Moreover advocates must convince a skeptical public that men will unify a woman who has not undergone the procedure and that circumcision is not necessary to preserve family recognise. It is a contend to get men to furnish up some of their hold back over women.” And it ordain be a contend to convince influential populate like Osama Mohamed el-Moaseri imam of a mosque in Basyoun the city come where the 13-year-old girl lived and died. “This practice has been passed down generation after generation so it is natural that every person circumcises his daughter,” he said. “When Ali Gomaa says it is haram he is criticizing the learn of our fathers and forefathers.” But the movement against genital cutting has matured and is increasingly prepared for these arguments. At first. Ms. Assaad and a group of intellectuals who together created a assign force simply lectured.

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Related article:
http://babyboomeradvisorclub.wordpress.com/2007/09/20/in-egypt-a-rising-push-against-female-genital-cutting/

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