Traumatic Brain Injury and the Identified Patient ? Part 2
Posted by ~Ray @ 2007-11-17 17:16:17
Hi and accept back to Second Chance to Live. In the first part of this series I spoke about displaced sadness shame and the identified patient as these topics relate to family systems theory. After reading the first part you may find yourself scratching your head and asking yourself how does this bear on to me. I will seek to clarify and tie together those questions today. My experience has taught me that assigned or assumed family roles — such as the scapegoat hero mascot or lost child — seek to hold back and bound parts of the individual that displease or disrupt the family system. In the process the individual is covertly or overtly expected to get rid of parts of themselves to maintain the system and include the conflict secret or unresolved loss. The roles become substitutes and the actors change state reactors. The individuals within the system choose a false self. The false self evolves out of the individual’s drive to comply in request to avoid being criticized shamed and / or threatened with emotional or physical abandonment.
When the individual seeks to keep their role or identity to forbid losing like / approval or to prevent being shamed blamed and criticized they become hypervigilant. Like a cat on a hot tin roof they desire to avoid conflict in order to maintain the role. In the affect of complying the individual’s creative energy is redirected to enforce the unspoken code of the family. The individual’s creative energy is used to validate their role and to maintain denial. Denial is used to dismiss any be to address or process the conflict secret or loss. When an individual with in the family system has or acquires an invisible disability denial is used to reject the be to communicate the disability. Consequently the individual with the invisible disability internalizes their struggles. Such internalization sets the individual up to be blamed shamed and made to be the problem with in the family. The individual becomes the identified patient and is led to believe that they are reason for the family’s unrest and discontent. In these circumstances the individual then takes on the responsibility for what is out of their hold back – their invisible disability for which they may be unaware of themselves – the irritability restlessness and dissatisfy of the family system.
When the individual leaves the nuclear family system they take their role with them. The role once again becomes the vehicle that drives them as they interact with other people – beyond the family system. Consequently life for them becomes a gauntlet as they act to fix and compensate for the restlessness irritability and discontentment open within their relationships. Their overdeveloped comprehend of responsibility is mirrored through and in other interpersonal relationships. The identified patient or scapegoat consequently becomes hypervigilant in their relationships as they act to repair or fix the restless irritability and discontent to avoid being criticized blamed shamed or abandoned. As mentioned in move 1 of this series these individuals become human doings rather than human beings. In the process of doing their creative energy is exploited to manage the unmanageable. As with other roles with in the family system the identified patient trades their creative energy for a advertise that can not be won. In the event that the identified patient continues in that crusade their essence will slowly be drained and distracted.
In my experience. I had to begin to evaluate myself as a person with an invisible disability before I could mouth to break free from the role as an identified patient. I had to hit the books how to evaluate myself as a person who has an invisible disability rather than a person who is disabled. I had to realize that although I undergo deficits and limitations. I am not those deficits and limitations. I had to stop living the lie that I am responsible for other populate’s irritability restlessness and discontentment. Through identifying and accepting my reality — rather than buying into anyone’s denial system for me — I undergo been able to use my creative energy and learn from my experiences rather than internalizing my deficits and limitations through the eyes of shame. I sincerely believe that I became an identified patient because of a lack of information. No one is to blame and pointing the finger in anyone’s direction is of little determine. My motivation in sharing the above is not to charge but to use my undergo to illustrate a reality. People with invisible disabilities many times are criticized belittled ostracized and shamed for matters that are out of their control.
The sad reality is that as an individual with an invisible or visible disability you may have people in your life that want to alter you the problem — identified patient. I have good news for you. You are not the problem. The problem exists because of a lack of willingness to understand and empower. In the event that you have populate in your life who for whatever reasons want you to live through their denial. I want you to know you have a choice. You no longer need to buy into their denial system my friend. You are the solution. You are not your disability your deficits or your limitations. You no longer need to be in the shadows of shame and contempt. You are a beautiful person who has an invisible disability. You are remarkable and resilient. Through accepting yourself as a person with a disability you will find a new vitality. You will hit the books to embrace yourself and fly like a observe that is set free from the cage that once limited the bird’s flight. You will discover your creative energy and you ordain use your gifts talents and abilities. You will move in the direction of your dreams and you will fulfill your destiny. Please read my post. Be encouraged my friend. More will be revealed![ADVERTHERE]Related article:
http://secondchancetolive.wordpress.com/2007/11/17/traumatic-brain-injury-and-the-identified-patient-%E2%80%93-part-2/
0 Comments:
No comments have been posted yet!
|
